7/
I am breathing deeply. Patience is in short supply. I think I have decided to actively abolish Christmas. It is possibly the worst holiday ever invented. Now, I'm sure there are some soft hearts out there who will freak out to think that a holiday of love and giving should be removed. On the other hand I'd be willing to bet there are some cynic who believe they've found a member of their brethren. (And let's not discuss the religious freaks who are trying to reclaim the entire winter in the name of their god).
Nah, let's discuss them, because my thoughts on that sort of, in an abstract sense, reflect my thoughts on the rest of the problem: They can all go fuck themselves. For those of you in the other categories, that goes for you too. In fact, today I am of the volition that the whole damn world should be ridiculously ashamed of themselves for letting this shit continue as long as it has. Aren't wars, poverty, and the obesity caused by eating American-ease buffet style enough?[See note] No. We need Christmas, a soul sucking ideal that has become so intangible and amorphous it absorbs other religions and really means absolutely nothing but guaranteed travel problems.
But proponents of the holiday express, "It's a season to celebrate all that we believe in" (and the Born-Again really want that to be Jesus, so much so they have started boycotts and hyphenation campaigns {Christ-mas}). And they're right. We should have a time to bring out all the things that make us who we are. Unfortunately, we seem convinced that Christmas only brings out the good qualities. We cling to the idea that we can some how amplify the generosity of our behavior and shine a light on the subtle virtues that may otherwise seem hidden the rest of the year. This is where we're dead ass wrong. We are embarrassingly wrong. We forget that we cannot be only virtuous. This ideal, if so practical as Christmas implies, would should be applied all through the year. Yet, the idea of celebrating holiday itself seems to imply that we cannot be expected to split the bad stuff off, at least not permanently. That's why we have a holiday to celebrate what we can.
So instead of acknowledging the flaws in our behavior, we ignore them. Christmas becomes the time when, not only do we make an effort to see people otherwise not worth being near, but that we have to play nice with them. If, by some chance anything controversial arises, it must be put to bed immediately.
[To clarify, today, I was once again subjected to the family treat of eating at a Chinese buffet. However, today's conversation was bespeckled with an irony new to me. While we were eating my grandmother pointed out that this was nothing like the Chinese restaurants I took them to when they visited me. After mentioning that the other restaurants probably seemed different because they were in fact Malaysian, my mother piped up saying "Oh that's right they're authentic." The travesty in this is not the confusion of Asian cultures. I do that. Hell, I confuse American cultures and music cultures, things I care about. I'm sure the Asians even confuse some Asian cultures. The travesty was that they knew the place they were eating in was a farce. They knew that in fact it was not authentic and then proceeded to compare them to restaurants that were. They were actively remaining ignorant out of (a symptoms that plagues these places) laziness. They stood as embasaries to me that we as an American culture are willing to bastardize entire continents because we don't want to acknowledge we need macaroni and cheese next to out pork fried rice. And what I find particularly sad is that this seems like the perfect time to bring in those PC terms everyone hates and give them a good use. Hey, aren't wontons and hotdogs the diffinitive combination for "Asian-American"?]
--Side Note: This is entirely personal, but for some reason my grandparent wanted a copy of the EVVY Awards show where my team won best ad. For some other reason (i.e. I spend too much time drinking and talking about the importance of art instead of dreaming up great gifts for a holiday I abhor) I bought it for them. Now, they are in the other room, completely dumbfounded by the fact that I don't want to watch myself parade across a stage to accept an award. In fact, it makes me greatly uncomfortable to think that I would. But they keep asking. It's their gift. If I wanted it, I'd have one, which brings up my point: Isn't ist a little conceeded to sit and enjoy watching oneself recieve an award? Isn't it a tad weird that one could not be satisfied doing the work and getting the award? I understand why they would want the tape. They are proud of me and I don't mean to belittle them, the award, or the idea of keeping memeories. In fact, I keep the ad that won the award for that reason. But no matter how you cut it, it's fucking hubris to want to watch yourself get awards. It's weird. I may never get over it.--
Well, son of a bitch, it seems they also can't stand me being in the other room. Hopefully I'll pick this up later. Better yet, hopefully this feeling will die and I won't want to. Sorry this one was so disjointed. And not even spell checked.
Nah, let's discuss them, because my thoughts on that sort of, in an abstract sense, reflect my thoughts on the rest of the problem: They can all go fuck themselves. For those of you in the other categories, that goes for you too. In fact, today I am of the volition that the whole damn world should be ridiculously ashamed of themselves for letting this shit continue as long as it has. Aren't wars, poverty, and the obesity caused by eating American-ease buffet style enough?[See note] No. We need Christmas, a soul sucking ideal that has become so intangible and amorphous it absorbs other religions and really means absolutely nothing but guaranteed travel problems.
But proponents of the holiday express, "It's a season to celebrate all that we believe in" (and the Born-Again really want that to be Jesus, so much so they have started boycotts and hyphenation campaigns {Christ-mas}). And they're right. We should have a time to bring out all the things that make us who we are. Unfortunately, we seem convinced that Christmas only brings out the good qualities. We cling to the idea that we can some how amplify the generosity of our behavior and shine a light on the subtle virtues that may otherwise seem hidden the rest of the year. This is where we're dead ass wrong. We are embarrassingly wrong. We forget that we cannot be only virtuous. This ideal, if so practical as Christmas implies, would should be applied all through the year. Yet, the idea of celebrating holiday itself seems to imply that we cannot be expected to split the bad stuff off, at least not permanently. That's why we have a holiday to celebrate what we can.
So instead of acknowledging the flaws in our behavior, we ignore them. Christmas becomes the time when, not only do we make an effort to see people otherwise not worth being near, but that we have to play nice with them. If, by some chance anything controversial arises, it must be put to bed immediately.
[To clarify, today, I was once again subjected to the family treat of eating at a Chinese buffet. However, today's conversation was bespeckled with an irony new to me. While we were eating my grandmother pointed out that this was nothing like the Chinese restaurants I took them to when they visited me. After mentioning that the other restaurants probably seemed different because they were in fact Malaysian, my mother piped up saying "Oh that's right they're authentic." The travesty in this is not the confusion of Asian cultures. I do that. Hell, I confuse American cultures and music cultures, things I care about. I'm sure the Asians even confuse some Asian cultures. The travesty was that they knew the place they were eating in was a farce. They knew that in fact it was not authentic and then proceeded to compare them to restaurants that were. They were actively remaining ignorant out of (a symptoms that plagues these places) laziness. They stood as embasaries to me that we as an American culture are willing to bastardize entire continents because we don't want to acknowledge we need macaroni and cheese next to out pork fried rice. And what I find particularly sad is that this seems like the perfect time to bring in those PC terms everyone hates and give them a good use. Hey, aren't wontons and hotdogs the diffinitive combination for "Asian-American"?]
--Side Note: This is entirely personal, but for some reason my grandparent wanted a copy of the EVVY Awards show where my team won best ad. For some other reason (i.e. I spend too much time drinking and talking about the importance of art instead of dreaming up great gifts for a holiday I abhor) I bought it for them. Now, they are in the other room, completely dumbfounded by the fact that I don't want to watch myself parade across a stage to accept an award. In fact, it makes me greatly uncomfortable to think that I would. But they keep asking. It's their gift. If I wanted it, I'd have one, which brings up my point: Isn't ist a little conceeded to sit and enjoy watching oneself recieve an award? Isn't it a tad weird that one could not be satisfied doing the work and getting the award? I understand why they would want the tape. They are proud of me and I don't mean to belittle them, the award, or the idea of keeping memeories. In fact, I keep the ad that won the award for that reason. But no matter how you cut it, it's fucking hubris to want to watch yourself get awards. It's weird. I may never get over it.--
Well, son of a bitch, it seems they also can't stand me being in the other room. Hopefully I'll pick this up later. Better yet, hopefully this feeling will die and I won't want to. Sorry this one was so disjointed. And not even spell checked.
posted by IndelibleMind at 7:48 PM
1 Comments:
The real problem with Christmas, Drew, is that it isn't nearly short enough. It seems, by definition, that it should only be one day where you have to hang out with people you have little or nothing in common with save that one of them pushed you out of their womb and another squeezed her out. But no, we get a whole two fucking months of Dasher and Dancer and Jesus sucking at the tit of our fragile economy. Ahhh... The bitter irony is the joy of recieving presents for somebody else's birthday; and I bet Jesus feels ripped off.
Never lose faith in the amoral power of positive thinking.
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