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"I seek no man's approval"
--Jim

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Horribly, horribly wrong. We should definetely not get together.

We should definetely not be uninteresting.
We should definetely not act desparate.
We should definetely not chase committed friends.
We should definetely not have an age difference, or more importantly, ideological difference.
We should definetely not get together.

On another note: Life is looking up, for now. Mom has three boyfriends, I have three best friends, and we're both quickly adding more. There may be a chance, even if there is a better way.

I promise to stop being vague from here on out.

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I called on my walk home last night. I thought it would keep me a little calmer because I was walking and seem casual. It was brief. I suck on the phone. We did the talk at the same time and wait for each other to talk thing. I said "Should I get tickets ahead or something" She said "I think you should just come." I said "We should definitely get together."

I couldn't come up with enough questions to keep it going. I got nervous, probably played overly cool and hung up. I think it went well, but I'm doing my best not to analyze. I do that too much.

I am anxious for Sunday. I told Jim it'd be helpful to get some movie magic and so we made a deal with the-god-that-you-believe-in that if he makes it snow at 5 o'clock on Sunday, we'll go to church the following Sunday. I think that's fair, and it would be the perfect touch.
I'm pulling out all the metaphysical stops.

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I can't work. I can't focus. I can't sit still.

I have to go to the bathroom. I have to smoke. I have to write in this blog. But I don't and I don't and I don't. My hands sweat, so I wring them. My eyes hurt so I rub them. My head hurts, so I run my hands through my hair.

All this sweat and heavy petting I ought to star in a porn movie.

Ultimately, I am afraid to be happy, because once you are, you can never go back.

Who am I kidding? I'm already back. And I'd like to believe I've gotten used to being unhappy. Found a unique beauty in it.

I hope to god Jim isn't working. I smell a change in the wind.

Quote

"It is our last chance to save the world."

- # 931115

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Arguably, three minutes left to post. I am at work, which ostensibly means I should be working, but as you can tell I'm not. Arguably, it's my lunch break and I am finding I need to scream in to the digital e-byss.

Arguably, this is my first post. Hello. I still believe I'm not an addict.

Arguably, this is the end, but we all know that isn't true.